Choosing My Battles

Keep Calm and Carry On

Motivational poster by the British government 1939

“Keep calm and carry on” is often easier said than done. Whether it’s a verbal confrontation, a personal dilemma, or a reaction to a crisis, it’s easy to let our emotions get the better of us. The desire to strike out at whatever—or whoever—is threatening us can be overwhelming.

Facebook posts are one illustration of this. When I read a post from someone whose hair is on fire, ranting because of something that has been said or done, I find it far less effective than someone rationally putting forth their case. Anger may get our attention, but it doesn’t necessarily persuade us.

The same is true in a debate. As soon as you lose your temper, it’s over. Ironically, the most negative effect is probably on you, not your opponent. They may go happily on with their day while you are still replaying the conversation hours later. I know. I’ve done it.

There is also a difference between keeping calm and keeping quiet. Some things need to be said. There are times when we should speak up, defend ourselves, challenge something we believe is wrong, or simply say, “No, I don’t agree.” Staying calm doesn’t mean becoming passive. In fact, a calm voice can sometimes carry far more weight than an angry one.

Perhaps caring also means deciding where to put our energy. Through the years I’ve learned from experience that the cost simply isn’t worth it. That’s not to say I can always resist the urge to detonate . I can’t. But it happens less often as I get older. Maybe age gives us a little perspective—or perhaps we finally realize how exhausting it is to be angry.

I’m learning that I don’t have to respond to everything. I don’t have to win every argument, correct every wrong opinion, or have the last word. Sometimes I can walk away. Sometimes I can wait until tomorrow. And sometimes, after thinking about it, I discover that what seemed so important in the heat of the moment really wasn’t.

Breathe, keep calm, and live to fight another day.

Peace be with you.

If you’re new here, welcome. I write about aging with grace, finding beauty in everyday life, and the quiet moments that remind us what matters most. I’m so glad you’ve stopped by.