Aging with Grace

I am my own biggest critic. Before anyone else has criticized me, I have already criticized myself. But for the rest of my life, I am going to be with me and I don’t want to spend my life with someone who is always critical. So I am going to stop being my own critic.

C. Joybell C.

When I saw this silk scarf at a Dior retrospective, I could relate. It spoke to that voice in my head that was my own worst critic. It is no, no, no, and no. No you can’t, no you aren’t, no you won’t. It goes on and on.

Being critical of ourselves seems to be universal. I was sharing my self- criticism struggle with a new friend and her reply was, “Yes, darling. I believe we are our own worst critics.” I liked the response for a couple of reasons. First, it’s always nice to be agreed with and second, I love the piece of dialog. I was writing a story around it as I read it.

In my case, I think some of my self-critical thoughts are rooted in the way I was brought up. Raised by my grandparents, my grandmother didn’t believe in excessive praise. She thought it would give me a big head. I think it was typical of her generation. Maybe, it’s a fine line.  At any rate, it made me hold myself, as well as everyone else, to a high standard.

With age comes the realization that maybe perfection is overrated. Struggling toward something that’s unachievable is exhausting.