Retrospection

Portrait, Hendrik Grise

The afternoon knows what the morning never suspected.

Robert Frost

I was in my late twenties when this painting was done. Looking back, what I didn’t know could fill volumes. I can’t decide if not knowing what the future holds is a good or a bad thing. I’m sure in some instances I would have made different choices had I known what lie ahead. In other cases, I wouldn’t have changed anything. I do know that as we grow older all those past experiences and how we choose to react to them impacts who we are now.

We can’t re-write the past and we have only limited control over the present. What we do have influence over is how we allow it to shape our lives. I refuse to be one of those unhappy, old ladies who has decided her age gives her the right to be difficult, irritable and ornery. Honestly, this decision is as much for my benefits as that of others. I don’t want all those negative feelings to come back on me and I know they will. Besides, hate is aging and I’m too vain for that. No matter my age, I want look and feel the same way I did when this portrait was painted. Okay, I might have to settle for looking a little older. C’est la vie.

One response to “Retrospection”

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