Aging with Grace

Just being yourself never worked, but if you made yourself up, you got to be exactly who you wanted to be.

Laurie Frankel

The above is a quote from the book, This Is How it Always Is, by Laurie Frankel. Making yourself up can be a coping mechanism. You are often told to be yourself. Sometimes yourself may not be up to the challenge. 

Many years ago, when my 22 year old son died, I used dissociation as a way to cope. Not something many psychologists would recommend it, but it helped during a painful period in my life. I was brought up to get through whatever  happened without drama. When facing my son’s death, I knew the only way for me to cope was to disassociate from the situation and watch from above as I moved through it.  After, I allowed myself to feel what had happened. Some would disagree with the method. For that time, making myself up helped me to deal with the horrible reality.

Today, with the overwhelming stress we face in our lives, I don’t recommend dissociation, yet there may be some coping skills that will help us to be who we want to be. For me, it’s beneficial to surround myself with things that give me comfort. Yesterday, as an example, I bought flowers, put on a Wynton Marsalis album, made a grilled cheese sandwich and called a friend. Nothing to radical. Just a little coping assistance.