Living a Gracious Life

We may be excused for not always being bright, but we are not excused for not being gracious, yielding and considerate.

St. Francis de Sales

I recently ran across a book titled, Gracious by Kelly Williams Brown. It advertises itself as, “A Practical Primer on Charm, Tact and Unsinkable Strength.” The copyright is 2017, but it seems it have been written in another century. It appears to me we are far removed from anything resembling graciousness, in today’s world.

Before COVID I did a fair amount of entertaining. Holiday parties, cookouts, drinks gatherings. Since that time, I find it hard to motivate myself to host social gatherings. I can’t put my finger on exactly why. We still have many lovely friends we enjoy spending time with. Something has changed. I was never especially bothered by the work involved in planning and executing a social event. These days it feels stressful, beyond my ability.

Something has shifted. During the pandemic, for the first time in my life, I experienced panic attacks. Completely out of character and hard for me to admit. Over time, they have disappeared. However, I wonder if a residue of anxiety has remained.

We find ourselves living in such an unforgiving world. We are bombarded with all forms of hateful rhetoric. Every time we turn on the television news or look at social media, we are in a place far removed from anything resembling graciousness. I wonder if putting ourselves out there, even among friends, can be a bridge too far.

I grew up in a house where the answer to what I have written would be, “Get over it!” Self- restraint and acceptance were expected in all situations. I still feel held to that standard. As I continue whining across this page, it’s not without a certain amount of guilt. We live in a world where social sensibility is sadly lacking. I realize, that doesn’t absolve us from a gracious life. That would be any easy, but unjustifiable out. How we treat others matters. For them and for ourselves.