My Shadow

I have a little shadow that comes and goes with me,

And what can be the use of him is more than I can

see.

Robert Louis Stevenson

Robert Lewis Stevenson’s shadow seems harmless enough. A shadow can be something more complex as in, The Shadows of the Past”, the second chapter of J.R.R. Tolkien’s, The Lord of the Rings. It sets the tone for the question of divine providence, predestination, and free will. Fantasy is not a favorite of mine. However, I will re-read the book with a different insight.

Before we get too far in the weeds on this. Let me say, I don’t believe in providence or fatalism. It is my feeling that we are given freewill to make choices in life and we must accept the credit or blame for those decisions. The theology has been and I imagine will continue to be argued for eternity. We can draw our own conclusions.

As I become older, I see myself casting a long shadow formed of all the choices I have made in my life. Our decisions, both good and bad, follow us. They contribute to who we become. When I was young I don’t believe I thought about how my choices would affect the remainder of my life. I now have the benefit of hindsight.

If I could, would I make different choices? For the most part, I don’t think so. I do believe there were opportunities presented to me I could have and possibly should have taken, but didn’t. We don’t realize that when we chose to ignore a whisper of suggestion it might change the course of our life.

I was discussing the topic of life choices, particularly career decisions, with a friend recently. She commented about how she set out on path put before her and it led her to a career. I imagine I did the same thing, although I recognize opportunities I passed over. For example, when a professor suggested I consider changing my major to journalism, I summarily dismissed it. I had invested time in an art major and that was what I was going to do! I can tell you, as a career, I didn’t do a thing in the field of art. Maybe, I shouldn’t have been so quick to dismiss the idea of journalism.

Ultimately, because of my career choice, I had the opportunity to meet many successful, influential people whom I admired. I traveled to and stayed in luxurious locations I might not have. I am richer for that time in my life.

We make our choices and, if we think about it at all, we hope they are the right ones. Either way, they contribute to that shadow that follows behind us. We must live with what we have chosen, there is no place for regret.That doesn’t mean we can’t heed the next whisper when it tells us there might be another choice.