Non

Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough.

Josh Billings

When I saw this scarf displayed at a Dior exhibit, I couldn’t resist taking a photo. The French have elevated saying non to an art form. Just three letters, two in English. How important that small word is. With it we can tell the truth or a lie, make our wishes known, take a stand. No, I don’t know. No, I can’t do it. No, I won’t agree. Sadly, I did not inherit this skill from my French ancestors.

During my younger years, saying no is not something I did easily. I believe a turning point came when I was a young mother. One morning, there was a knock at my door. When I answered, a neighbor was there with her two sons. She said, “God told me you should watch my children today.” It wasn’t an emergency. I don’t remember the reason. She was going shopping? Something that did not require she couldn’t take her children. I didn’t know her well. It did occur to me to wonder why she would decide to trust me as a babysitter and I think I might have been confused by God’s role in all of it. Anyway, I answered with a firm, no. Afterwards, I realized it felt good. I didn’t always have to say, yes.

Through the years, I have become better at using the word no. My people pleasing desire has been tempered by experience and age. I discovered refusing wasn’t impolite and as time ticked on, I became more selfish with my time. Freeing up your time to focus on what is important to you is not selfish. It’s self preservation.