Reserving Judgement

Reserving judgement is a matter of infinite hope.

F. Scott Fitzgerald

The first time I read this quote I thought about how many times I denied myself the chance for optimism. How many times my first opinion was wrong.

 I just finished reading, “Tell the Wolves I’m Home” by Carol Rifka Brunt. The story takes place in the late 80’s. It is about two men dying of AIDS and their relationship with a young girl.

 When I first started to read, I was prepared to hate the book. I didn’t want to be reminded of the death sentence AIDS was during that time. I worked in luxury retail along with many gay men. I worked with guys who, it seemed, were happy and filled with life one minute and gone the next. I still remember one young man, as though it were yesterday. Although we were not close friends, it was hard not to be pulled in by his outgoing personality. His presence seemed to take up all the space in the room. He was funny, sarcastic, opinionated and sometimes cruel. Most of all, he was full of life. 

After his funeral we went back to the house he shared with his partner. Thinking back on it , the gathering seemed forced and awkward without him. He was the one that would have held it all together.

As it turns out,  the book was very good. It turned a desperate subject into a story of hope and redemption. 

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